Working part-time

Finally get to increase my pay after my attachment!! Negotiate for sooooo loooong..... wat the hell...! But lucky they finally decided to increase lah.. whew...!
Btw, I'm currently working part-time at SAM (don't wana name it in full here). It is located in between Boon Lay & Lakeside MRT, right below the MRT track. You can go find it, but i feel that u dun waste your time.. The name sounds good lah(isit?), but the attachment pay like shit.. somemore even wana pay same amount after my attachment period lor... damn... Lucky now they increase it after much negotiation. :)

Life never been the same

Losing a loved one in a family is painful.. True enough that one should have been much independent after some time after e lost.. but once in a while, one will surely land in situations in which he will require the kind of helping hand that none others could give... except for e lost loved one..

The loss of my loved one really caused great impact for my life.. Since then, many things had changed in my family... and life has really become more sucky for me...

Rite now, I'm sort of leading my life on my own... Some of my friends asked me, "Why do u still stay in hostel even during the holidaes?" I might have given them some answers that sound.. "oh ok, fair enough". However.. I know clearly in my heart that the real reason is none other than to "escape".. (Who will like to bo dai bo ji always stay in hall even during the holidaes? Who?? That person mux be mad lah..)

I believe many people may jux think that no matter where they'd gone to, or what they'd been thru' in e outside world, going back home is still the best, as "there is no place like home".

After many things that'd happened.. the feeling of me wanting to return home seemed to be fading away.. just like beautiful drawings on the wall, washed away bit by bit, by rain.. Disappointment- the reason..

I really wish I could lead a normal & simple life like most people do, with a "complete" family. (Complete family for me NOW means a family with its members truly care for one another. Losing a member in a family doesn't make a family incomplete.. but what makes a family incomplete is the crack between its members that could hardly be sealed.)

How's your 21st birthday?

I'm very happy when I see how people celebrate for their 21st bdae'. How did u celebrate yours? Did u receive many great presents?? :)

I feel envious and happy to see how people enjoyed their 21st bdae celebrations, and I'm always glad to be in part of their celebrating parties. :) Coz' I understand how it is like to have missed out on a 21st bdae. Mine was spent quietly alone for some reason.. so I know what it is like.. (Dun ask me what reason!)

21 years old is only once in a lifetime. So I really feel that everyone else should jux enjoy theirs' to the fullest whenever they can! Coz' once u missed it, it is gone. Remember that!! ;)

Downturn & Turnover

Everyone steppin' on this piece of ground will definitely go thru' ups downs.. For myself, its like I'd been sitting for many rounds of roller coaster until this point of time.. Fall then stand up, then fall again, and then stand up, and then fall again..

Maybe to many friends out there, I may give 'em e impression that I have a very good family background and everything in my life is smooth sailing, but it's not like that lah.. I won't list out what setbacks I had down here, coz it's damn ma fan.. I can only say, it mainly concerns my family and of course, myself lah.. But really, "it takes a greater courage for one to stand up again, each time one falls"...

During my downturn periods, I constantly tell myself.. "Hey, look! You can overcome them, just take them as challenges in life. You certainly can do it. There are plenty of pple out there who are even worse than u! Get on with ur life with ur head high up!"

That's e motivation that had pushed me on til now, and I believe it will continue to push me on for e future. I had become much stronger & independent since then..

Duno since when and why.. I suddenly find it hard for tears to drip out from my eyes even when I see very sad things.. I'm not trying to boost whatsoever that "wah.. i'm so strong ah.." <--- that kind of shit... (but of course, not tellin' pple that I became "COLD-BLOODED"!! no please...!!) it's jux that.. it became something which had taken over me.. which i duno since when.. and given a choice if time could turn back... who will wana go thru' those sad things for nutin and land themselves in deep shit?
But true enaf perhaps, at e end of the day, it's really thru' many setbacks that we'd gone thru' in life that we'll have a different perspective of life.. and only thru' setbacks that we'll be mould.. I had learned to take each setback as a challenge that I wish to overcome, and I learned to cherish people who are really worth treasuring along my way..

There're a few great friends who'd given me utmost support, mentally.. whenever I fall... which I felt it's so damn important to help one get on with life! I deeply appreciate them.. Without them & my sis, I'm only shit..

okok, enaf of all these mushy-mushy-long-winded crap..

Just sharing these simple bits of thoughts here to encourage pple.. not to tell pple how sad I am ok! haha.. jux hope whoever reading the above to maybe get a bit of motivation as well lah.. (whether or not u're the one in your downturn period now, or u have friends suffering e downturn period, encourage them man!!)

Blogging

I found that I needa throw out my thoughts somewhere.. argh... can't stand it anymore.. But to where? to where?? Maybe thru a blog like this.. en 'til I find a better place perhaps..?
But some things I write here may be crap lah.. Bear wif me.. :)